There was a time; not too long ago when every day I woke up with thoughts of marriage. I yearned to be married so much that it permeated my every thought. I couldn’t stand to see other couples, because I felt like I was being denied the blessing of matrimony. And it made me feel like I was cursed. After marrying the wrong kind of man, for all the wrong kinds of reasons, at the wrong time, the wrong way, and in the wrong place; I have come to appreciate the gift of singleness.

After overcoming the failure of my first marriage, and the embarrassment of not choosing well; I decided that I was going to enjoy being single. It was very difficult in the beginning, but the more I cried out to God for comfort and hugs, the more I began to enjoy the gift of singleness. I've learned over the years that singleness is not a curse, but a blessed state of being. It’s the original state of being that we were born into. And it’s the most blessed state in which to serve God.

The Apostle Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 7:32-40, how a married person’s attention is divided between the spouse and God, but the single person avoids this divided lifestyle, and can be completely devoted to God. Although I’m sure remaining single is the ideal for some people, I’m not one of them. I still desire to be married, but I’m not obsessed with it any longer (when you read the book, you will see what I mean). 

I’ve learned that in my singleness, I’m being prepared for holy matrimony; something that I didn’t get while growing up. My family didn’t prepare me for holy matrimony, or for marriage at all. It was never talked about in my family and I can see from the disintegrating marriages in my family, that no one was properly prepared.

I have seen what divorce does to families and I’ve felt the effects of a broken marriage firsthand. Regardless of the kind of marriage that ended; a family was still affected. I just thank God that there weren’t innocent children involved. 

In my current state of singleness, I'm not running into the arms of another, I am enjoying myself in Love (God). I have learned that I can rely and depend on God for everything; including affection; which is usually what we as men and women yearn for the most. I have also learned that a mate does not define me; God does. And I have learned that having a mate means being prepared to serve; which was something I never thought about in the past; when I was praying my heart out for a husband. And the most important lesson I’ve learned, is that singleness gives me the freedom to grow. 

Because I’m only responsible for myself, I’m in a prime position for God to teach me how to be responsible in life and marriage. So that when He is ready for me to enter into holy matrimony, not only will I be ready to serve as a wife, but I will also be equipped to recognize who the right mate is for the purpose of God in our lives. The freedom to become who we are meant to be is the single most important gift that comes from being single. Enjoy the blessing of your singleness; this time is set apart for you. 

P.S.

Please, don't get angry with me, I'm just the messenger! But I am also in this wait with you, so let's grow together into the Suitable Singles we're supposed to be, while God works out who is suitable as a mate for us. In His due season, we will meet, marry, and minister with them. Just hold on, our due season will come.