​Do you know how many men are fleeing the family household? A lot!!! Most of the time we think it’s because he’s just irresponsible or lazy, but that may not be true. Years ago, I asked the Lord, “What is wrong with the men?” His response was, “While most women are running toward Me, most men are running from Me. For this reason, the women have My assistance and strength, while the men are growing weaker because they won't allow Me to strengthen and assist them.”

 

In our present society there are two kinds of men: those running to their responsibilities, and those running from their responsibilities. Most of the men are distraught over having to carry the load of financial responsibility, and the women are dismayed over the fact that they are not carrying the responsibility, rather, they are running from it. The result of the men fleeing is leaving families in turmoil and despair.

 

Also, there is the dynamic over financial responsibility and financial irresponsibility. There are a lot of men terrified of the responsibility of carrying the family as the provider. But where did the idea and the deception that men are the providers come from? The deception began at the curse of Adam-he now had to grow and gather food for his family because of sin. From this curse the hunter-gatherer was born. Genesis 3 illustrates that God cursed the ground because of Adam and the devil has been deceiving men ever since.

 

“The Man and Woman Sin

1 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the LORD God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. 3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”

4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees. 9 Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

11 “Who told you that you were naked?” the LORD God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?”

12 The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”

13 Then the LORD God asked the woman, “What have you done?”

“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”

14 Then the LORD God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all animals, domestic and wild. You will crawl on your belly, groveling in the dust as long as you live. 15 And I will cause hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel.”

16 Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”

17 And to the man he said, “Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. 18 It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. 19 By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return.”

 

"Paradise Lost: God’s Judgment:

20 Then the man—Adam—named his wife Eve, because she would be the mother of all who live. 21 And the LORD God made clothing from animal skins for Adam and his wife.

22 Then the LORD God said, “Look, the human beings have become like us, knowing both good and evil. What if they reach out, take fruit from the tree of life, and eat it? Then they will live forever!” 23 So the LORD God banished them from the Garden of Eden, and he sent Adam out to cultivate the ground from which he had been made. 24 After sending them out, the LORD God stationed mighty cherubim to the east of the Garden of Eden. And he placed a flaming sword that flashed back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.”

 

Do you notice in verse 21, "And the LORD God made clothing from animal skins for Adam and his wife."  The deception has been that man is his own provider, but God is man's provider, however, apart from Him, man is left to fend for himself as the head of the family. God is Provider, Husband is head, Wife is helper.

 

Under the curse, men are overburdened with the task and responsibility of being provider and head, but he was never designed or assigned the dual roles, or created to carry the dual responsibility. The devil has deceived man in this way for centuries. And this deception has burdened the men and weakened the family. The devil through sin has destroyed the role of husband (head) to diminish or destroy its effectiveness. If he can weaken the head (husband), he will destroy the body (family). From the headship comes the strength and directional governing in Christ Jesus.

 

In today’s society the questions to ask are; Is he as the husband (head) serving and gathering the prosperity for the family, while the wife (helper) is mismanaging the family’s prosperity through overspending?

 

Headship is leadership or husbandry, which means, cultivating for development, growth and fruitfulness. Husbandry is a gardening term which denotes, tending to, and overseeing. Merriam-Webster.com gives the dictionary meaning of the term husbandry:

 

“Definition of husbandry

1a: the cultivation or production of plants or animals: AGRICULTURE

b: the scientific control and management of a branch of farming and especially of domestic animals

2: the control or judicious use of resources: CONSERVATION

3: archaic: the care of a household.”

 

The meaning that we use in our family’s refers to “the care of a household.” Most of the time women have been thought to have the responsibility to care for the household-mostly involving the day-to-day running of the household. But God has placed the headship responsibility for caring for the household on the men, who are the leaders of the family.

 

When the Lord, answered my question alluding to the fact that most families are in turmoil or despair, it brought to mind, the scripture Matthew 26:31(NLT), “On the way, Jesus told them, “Tonight all of you will desert me. For the Scriptures say, ‘God will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’”

 

When the head is weakened, so is the entire family. When the head is absent, the family suffers great loss. So where do we begin to repair the family’s strength? By the men returning to their strength, God!

 

A man was never meant to carry the load of his household alone. He was called to carry the responsibility as God provides for the family. His role within the family is headship (leadership & husbandry), not the sole provider. When the men understand that God is waiting to assist them in the role of husbands, fathers, brothers, heads, and leaders, they will be able to take a deep breath; and let out all the fear and frustration of having a role they were not designed to carry apart from God’s help.

 

If you are a man who is burdened in your soul over being your family’s provider, just understand, you have a provider to assist you in co-providing for your family. Just call on Jesus, cast your burdens onto Him, and give Him your life to lead and guide in His peace and prosperity. He will make a way for you to do all He has assigned you to do as the head of your family. He will even open doors to assist you.

 

Footnotes:

1. Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

2. Husbandry | Definition of Husbandry by Merriam-Webster (merriam-webster.com)