Have you ever had someone invite you into their life, then left you wondering where they were? It happens a lot in the dating/mating process. However, it’s not very effective in bringing together a couple in any stage of mating. To become an acquaintance, friend, or mate, you must be present. You also must be generous with your time, and your life.

 

The last man I dated was a Christian brother, who was also a new convert (baby Christian). He pursued me and treated me quite well when we were together, but during our talks about what marriage looked like for us, he was very guarded. He didn’t want to give up his single lifestyle to share his home with a woman. He didn’t want to give up cleaning his house, cooking his meals, mopping his floors or sharing his space. He didn’t want a woman coming in and changing things in his life. He even suggested that if we got married, that we should live in different adjoining apartments. My thought was, “If you don’t make room for a woman in your life, where does she fit into your life?”

 

Most people want a mate, but are not equipped for the mating process and responsibility. Dating and mating always requires presence. You can’t invite someone into your life and then neglect to build or nurture the relationship with them. In the end, I realized that my brother/friend, wanted companionship, but not the responsibility for nurturing a relationship. And that was okay, but I wanted more than a casual fling, which is probably one of the reasons God had to sit me down and educate me about dating/mating, and what it really means to be in a meaningful relationship.

 

Not everyone sees relationships as worthy of investment. But if you are going to have a meaningful, lasting relationship, you must invest yourself to reap a relational harvest. What you put in will always be what you get out. If you are putting in 100%, then don’t settle for a return less than that. If this is what your mate is returning to you, they are not as equally invested as you are.

 

If you are the one who is neglecting the relationship, please consider this; how would you feel if you were being treated like you are treating the person you have invited into your life? And you really must consider the bigger issue at hand; how can we grow together if only one of us is present?