In these perilous times that were predicted in the Bible, there is still much to be grateful for. My family and I are preparing for my biological father’s viewing this week, and my heart is at rest. He and I have had a very difficult time of father/daughter bonding, but even through the difficulties, I have what I call “Father/Daughter Moments.”

God asked me a question the day of his passing, before I knew of his passing, “How are you going to handle your father’s passing? I didn’t find out for three days, after my uncle, who broke the news to me found out. At that moment, I felt no sorrow only numbness. I had been mourning my father’s loss over and over in my life. He was there, then he wasn’t there. He was lying and I was always trying figure out who he was. After 39 years of this, I was done with it. I had to let my father go two years ago, because of something I found out about him, that was so disturbing that I couldn’t take anymore drama concerning him. A few days after his passing, the Lord, asked, “Where is the value for you?”

I thought about it for a while, then it came to me, “My life. I am only alive because of You, my father and my mother.” Then I thought about it a bit more realizing that we had a few happy “Father/Daughter Moments” that are embedded in my heart and memory.

When I had my heart surgery at eighteen years old, he was there. The day I brought my daughter home from the hospital, he was the person that came to get us. From the day we met when I was seventeen years old, he has always been proud of me. And then I realized something very significant about the man I was trying to get to know as dad. When we spoke, he never once spoke evil about anyone, family member or friend. He spoke how he felt about them, but it was never evil against them. That was a real revelation concerning him, because everyone that knew him, only knew and spoke of his bad reputation. I am more saddened by the fact that we don’t know for sure if he had made his relationship with God right. He went to church services but couldn’t seem to live out righteousness. That’s between him and God now.

When I think of him, I would much rather remember the good parts about him, that I have inherited. He was a talker, and a very articulate speaker. My writing and speaking gifts came from that side of the family. My reading and storytelling gifts came from my mother’s side of the family, they are amazing verbal storytellers. He was also the only parent that I could have real conversations with, with no judgement.

In times when so many elders and loved ones are leaving us, we must remember to cherish the good memories of them. I have determined, that with God’s help, I will live my life in a way that brings honor to God and my father’s name. I can’t do away with the reputation that he created for himself, but I will try to recreate a better reputation for our family’s sake. Regardless of the past, we still should be grateful for their contributions to our lives. Then we should live in a way that honors God and their memory. Remember, we didn't get to choose our parents and they didn't get to choose us, but somehow through it all, God made us family.