"And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased."

(Hebrews 13:16, NIV)

 

Have you ever heard the term, “Sharing is caring?” Well, this is especially true when you are mating. As I found out over the past few years, when I took in two of my grandchildren, it’s not easy to share your space when you’ve been so accustomed to having it all to yourself.

 

You will realize when mating that the way you are used to doing things is not always conducive to your relational peace. Your way may not be his/her way. And your household value system, may not be theirs. However, the entity of the mating/marriage relationship requires us to consider how we will share our space to make it a welcoming home.

 

Most couples find it very difficult in the beginning to share common living space, because their family/cultural norms may be quite different than those of their mate. From rolling the toothpaste, to keeping the bedroom clean, we need to be prepared for the change.

 

All change is not bad, it’s just different. And the best way to accommodate the gender, cultural, and daily habitual differences is with negotiation and compromise. By talking through your differences and expectations, as a couple, you will eliminate the undue pressures that come with the adjustment of living together.

 

Fighting through the change is not the way to overcome the change. It’s all about negotiations and compromise. What do we value? What is most important to the daily peace of our household and relationship? Are we contributing to the peace or not? What can we do differently to bring peace to our family community? What can I do differently to bring peace to our home? Is my way the best way?

 

By asking these questions and addressing the needs, you will create a more peaceful environment that makes your home a sanctuary, not a battle ground. Remember, compromise is better than yelling, and negotiating is better than conflict.

 

Prayer:

Father, as I pray for a mate, please help me to be ready to share my life and space with him/her. Help me to make the necessary adjustments in my life as a single person to prepare my life for mating/marriage. Remove any selfish ambitions from me and replace them with a heart to share. Let my presence in the life of my mate be a loving, compassionate, pleasant, peaceful, fruitful, and joyful experience for him/her and our marriage. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.