Are you sure you know who and what love is? If you cannot answer this question or you don’t fully understand it, then you are not in a position to make a love covenant with another person. You must be in Love before you can enter into a love relationship. Love is not what most people think it is. As a matter of fact, Love is not a what, but a who. I was surprised to learn this also. I had spent years chasing after love with a man. I wanted love and affection and for someone to show me how special I was. I didn’t find love by those actions, however; Love found me. 

 

One year after a death bed experience, I gave my life to Christ on Thanksgiving Day, November 28, 1996. Well, actually I had cried out for Jesus to save me when the illness began to take hold of me, and immediately He came to my rescue. I was born-again then, but I didn’t get the Holy Spirit until November 1996, eight months later. I realized that it was no accident that I was still alive; He had preserved me and restored me for a reason. I prayed a prayer confessing that I was a sinner and that I wasn’t living right. I wasn’t going to church at that time, but I was searching for God. I found myself connected to a religious denomination that did nothing for me but confuse and scare me. I was relinquishing that religion during my prayer when all the other sins I had committed came rushing from my heart and through my lips. 

 

I admitted that I was scared because I had been taught that to depart from that religious belief system would be certain damnation. I did it by faith because I was tired of living contrary to that belief system.  I wanted to celebrate Thanksgivings and Christmas with my family. I couldn’t live a lie anymore, so I turned myself over to God and asked Him to forgive me for all of my sins, and to take authority over my life and lead me in His purpose for me. I ended my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ. And as I was turning to get up off my knees there was a wind that blew over me. I immediately knew that I had entered the presence of God. I was different and filled with peace which was something I had never known before. I had suffered with anxiety attacks from the time I was six years old until that moment when I was thirty-three years old. 

 

I will never forget it. My heart was filled to overflowing with peace. It amazed me so much that I just sat motionless on the edge of my bed. I had never felt that good before. At that moment God became real to me. He became more than just a Deity in a book that someone had told me about. He was not just a person sitting in heaven waiting to judge me for my sins and mistakes. And He was more than just a being that I could make requests to. He is Love. I felt Him that day, not just around me, but in me. I was different on the inside. I was changed. 

 

I was reminded of an experience with Him at fourteen, an experience that changed my life. I had come home with a bad report card. I was embarrassed to show it to my friends and scared to show it to my parents. Although I had passed to the ninth grade it was only by grace. I was fed up with being a failure and I did something I had never done before, I prayed to God for Him to help me to be successful. I cried out to him in anguish and His response to me was, “Clean your room.”

 

I responded, “Clean my room? What does that have to do with me getting good grades?” 

 

Well, He is God and I was fourteen, so I cleaned my room. It took me two days; you should have seen my room.  I shared the bedroom with my sister, so not only did I have to clean the entire room, but the walk-in closet too. When I was finished I grabbed a math book that I had, but before I could open the book, God spoke to me again and said, “Before you open that book look around you and tell me what you see.”

 

I looked around and I saw peace. The atmosphere in that room was so peaceful, that just the sight of it blessed me. It made me feel tranquil inside. Then God spoke again and said, “This is the atmosphere that you need to thrive. You cannot dwell in confusion or disarray because it will rob you of your focus. When your eyes are drawn by clutter it will affect your ability to concentrate. So you must remain organized and at peace to be successful.” 

 

After He spoke to me, I opened my math book and began to go to the first chapter to begin working the problems. God spoke to me again and said, “Go back and begin at the beginning of the book. Read from the cover to the first chapter, and then read the back of the book to gain understanding of the answer key. After you understand how the book works then go to the first chapter and read all of the instructions. Afterwards, skim through the work and then begin. This is how you study. You are not stupid you just need to know how you function and how the book functions.”

 

I spent the entire summer in the house studying and understanding how I function and how books function to assist me in learning. At the end of the summer when everyone else was talking about getting new clothes, I was looking forward to getting a new book-bag and pencil holders, anything that would help me be organized. I was even looking forward to making good grades; I had set my goal to make the honor roll (B average). I did for three quarters and the last quarter before graduation from the ninth grade to the tenth grade, I made the excellence roll (A average). 

 

I have been making A’s and B’s ever since. I am no longer intimidated by learning because God (Love) personally taught me who I am and how I function. I learned to stop telling God what I wanted from Him and I began to let Him tell me what He wanted from me and for me. And even to this day I am still organized and an A/B student. And the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that God is Love and when Love steps in you are successful.

 

1 John 4: 7-9, 16 states, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (16) And so, we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”

 

If you have ever experienced Him intimately you will know that He himself is the embodiment of Love. He doesn’t give love, He is Love. I am trying with all my limited words to describe God, but I confess that in my humanness I really can’t explain Him. What I can share with you is His character.

 

A few years ago I had a sweet encounter  with God (Love) that reminded me of His sweetness towards me. I was coming from the chiropractor's office, walking across the mall parking lot when out of the blue, I began to have a conversation with God (Love) about money. I had vaguely remembered how as a child I would often find money on the streets. This was meaningful to me because we didn't get an allowance. I asked, "Father, remember how you used to let me find money on the streets when I was a child, can you do that again? But don't let it be in a wallet because I will have to return it if I know who the owner is. Let it be unattached to anyone." 

 

That was a Friday morning. On the following Monday morning I got up, had my devotional time with God (Love), and then went to shower. After showering I realized that the day before I had dropped my deodorant in the toilet by accident after Sunday service at the church, so I was scrambling to find the second one I had purchased. I tore my house up looking for it; I even searched every purse I had, because I always kept extras stored in at least one. I didn’t find any. I figured I would just stop at the store in between buses and pick up some. Well, fifteen minutes before it was time for me to leave the house, I sat on my bed to put my shoes on and my pants ripped. Brand new pants, I was livid and now in a bigger rush. I couldn’t believe it, my day never started with so much drama. 

 

I immediately began to speak to God, and I said, “Father I don’t know what is going on here, do you want me to stay home today? Are you trying to protect me from something?” I felt in my spirit that I wasn’t going to make it to my appointment, but I was still supposed to go out. So, I rebuked the devil, and spoke the Word, “No weapon formed against me is going to prosper” (Isaiah 54:17, NIV). And I pressed onward because I still needed to purchase deodorant regardless of whether I went to the appointment or not. I got on my first bus and while riding around the community headed toward the transfer point, I was just looking out of the window enjoying the sights. It was a beautiful day about 65 degrees. 

 

We rode about fifteen minutes, then we rode through a community and pulled up to the bus stop. For some reason I was looking down in the gutter, something I always did when I rode the bus. I don’t know why, I just did. Well this particular time while looking out of the window I noticed what appeared to be a folded $20 bill. I sat straight up and thought, “What in the world?” Then I took a second look and just as I did the bus began to turn the corner, I shouted to the driver, “Stop the bus, I have to get off here!” He looked at me peculiar because I never got off there. 

 

I got off the bus and walked back around the corner, I looked down and there it was; a folded $20 bill laying in the gutter. I was shocked. I looked around to see if anyone was watching me, then I bent down and picked it up. I was praying it was real because I had an hour wait for the bus to circle back around. I unfolded the bill to exam it thoroughly and sure enough, it was a $20 bill. It looked like it had been there for some time because it had dirt on it and it appeared as if it had been wet. We had not had rain for a couple of days prior to that day so it was there for at least three days. I was so delighted that I walked a mile back up the street to the high school and then called my sister for a ride home. 

 

I never did make my appointment that day, but I did get my prayer answered and my deodorant. My prayer was answered just in time, because the night before I had called my mother asking her if I could borrow $10 for copy paper to print my assignments for my online class. I gave God half of the $20 dollars, five for a tithe and five for an offering; the other ten, I spent on deodorant, copy paper and laundry. After I returned home, I was unpacking my purse, the purse I had taken with me, when I reached down to remove my keys and under them was the missing deodorant that I was looking for. I burst into laughter; it was hysterical to me. I had looked in that purse twice and I saw no deodorant, but it was there all along. 

 

Another time I woke up early in the morning and during my prayer time I asked God, “What should I wear today?”

 

He answered, “Wear black.”

 

After I showered, I looked in my closet and pulled out a pair of black pants. I looked at them and then I put them back and pulled out a pair of tan colored pants. I thought nothing of it and I went on about my day. As I was about to get off the bus, I looked down and noticed that a pen had punched a hole in my purse and written all over my tan colored pants. And I had to walk around for eight hours with ink all over my pants. I was so embarrassed. But I asked God, and He told me, “Wear black.”

 

Although I was disobedient, He was loving enough to warn me. I just didn’t heed the warning. What blessed me the most was that God (Love) had answered me specifically and met my needs. That reminded me that He is always with me and He delights in blessing me, all I have to do is believe, ask, and wait. God (Love) is so sweet.

 

God is Love so therefore Love is God in action. All that is life is God’s personality manifested in the visible realm. We are because He spoke us into being. That is a mind-boggling thought. He desired for us and the universe to be and here we are. And not only did He speak us into existence, He also provided every means of support that we will ever need. That’s Love. 

 

Love is never self-centered it is self-giving. Romans 5: 1-5 is especially joyous to me because it explains how we become one with God, “Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

 

Not only has God (Love) provided every physical need that we can see and touch, but He has also provided for every spiritual need that we cannot see. By the Holy Spirit we receive God (Love) in our hearts. That’s precious. And I can attest to the accuracy of that scripture. I remember before I was born-again how I longed to be able to truly love. I couldn’t manifest it no matter how hard I tried. It felt like I was disconnected from being able to care enough for other people. But as soon as the Holy Spirit entered me I instantly became a loving, affectionate person. My family didn’t know what to make of me. I was all over them with hugs and kisses, which is something we never did. I couldn’t help myself my new nature now is to love and to show it.

 

 Romans 12: 9-21 states, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; and cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mind to avenge; I will repay’ says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”

 

The characteristics of God (Love) bear the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 states, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

 

It is vitally important for us to know the characteristics of God (Love) before we can enter into a relationship of love. We first must understand the heart of God (Love) to effectively be a part of love. What I am trying to say is that; knowing God’s ways and His heart will help you to be able to choose a mate that is just like Him. My childhood desire has always been to be a part of a Christian family. I wanted to marry a Christian husband even though I really didn’t know why. As a child I couldn’t fully understand what it was that attracted me to that kind of man. I didn’t have any personal examples to draw from, but what I innately understood was that he was a special kind of person. 

 

Growing up when I would dream about my Prince Charming, two of the qualities that stood out the most about him were love and gentleness. I wanted a mate who could love me in a gentle, sincere manner. This is so important to me that I based my entire dating life on it. It became my standard and it still is. I may have been deceived in the beginning by listening to the poetic words of lust, but in the end when I saw that the person didn’t have a God-centered life or spirit, I ended the relationship. I have a standard that is vitally important to me and its’ important to you to also to have a standard, so that when deception comes knocking at your door, and it will, you will have something to measure it by; the truth and Love. 

 

Remember, God has always been the original author of relationships; we don’t make lifelong relationships only God can do that. His love is never deceptive; it always seeks the good of others, and He goes out of His way to be kind to us. Love is God and God is Love in action; which is what we should be looking for in our mate. And what we need to be as a mate.