Are you the type of mate you would want? That’s a valid question considering that most of us want more than we can give. It’s human nature to want the best for ourselves, but is it fair to want the best and not give the best? This is where many relationships fail. It’s easy to present ourselves like Mr. or Miss. Wonderful, but is that who we really are?

 

As humans we put on the biggest performances ever and we call it living. I have come across so many people pretending to be one way; when in reality they were the complete opposite of how they presented themselves. When I saw this, I had to examine myself. I realized that I too, had been putting on a stellar performance for the world to see. It’s sad to say, but most of us are ashamed of who we really are. We represent ourselves as having complete confidence in ourselves and in being real; when the truth is; we are fakes. We act one way in public and another way in private. It’s like living a dual existence. Sadly, most Christians live this way. We’re churchified in public and hedonistic in private. However, when you live in authenticity, then your public lifestyle matches your private lifestyle.

 

I have learned that the private lifestyle, when lived authentically, creates a purposeful and powerful public lifestyle. What I mean by that is; it is in our private life when God does the most and best work in us. It’s in the prayer closet where God reveals us to ourselves. It’s during the fasting that God removes the mess from our hearts and minds and replaces it with vision. It is in the meditation moments when we are revived and rejuvenated to go forth and let our light shine.

 

To live a Christian life is to be an authentic Christian, to be Christ like in all your ways; publically and privately. At the writing of this blog I live a single lifestyle, yet I still must be aware of what I do in private, because it will set the stage for my public ministry called; my love walk.

 

You can keep secrets from the world, but God sees everything. And because God sees everything, He will not allow you to be used until He can prepare you for use. One of my prayers is, Father, make me fit for use. I had been praying that prayer for years and then I read as I was studying my Bible in

2 Timothy 2:19-21 (NIV), “Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness. In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.”

 

That scripture resonated with me because I knew that I was not a vessel fit for the Master’s use. We can only pretend for so long until the truth is revealed. I remember when I was a teenager; I used to lie like a rug. I pretended to be somebody I knew I wasn’t and told some of the greatest lies ever trying to back up the first lie. Then I had my first conversation with God; the one about becoming a better student. During that same time God did something not only to my mind; he also changed my heart. When I went back to school that Fall, I had no desire to lie anymore. I didn’t want to be fake about anything; anymore. I had friends bringing up some lies I had told, and I wanted nothing to do with them, not the friends, but the lies. I simply said, “I don’t want to talk about that.”

 

Some years ago, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who I went to school with during that time, and she had been talking about me to her cousin who was one of my closest friends back then. She told me that her cousin had called me a liar. At first it really hurt my feelings, but then I realized that; I was a liar back then and that was the impression I had left with her of me. Although I had confessed my sins to my friend, her cousin only remembered me as a liar. From this I learned the value of being honest.

 

Another lesson I learned is that deception causes great confusion. When we lie about who we are, what we have or what we do, it wreaks havoc on our relationships. When we present ourselves in the lives of others, we must be truthful. This is the only way that God can match us with the right people whom we will be able to bless, or whom will be a blessing to us. God is not only seeking whom He can bless, but He is also in the process of building relationships through us.

 

For example: if I tell you that I can write, then somewhere down the road you need help with writing and you come to me and ask for my assistance, but I tell you that I can’t do it or I brush you off because I’m ashamed of the fact that I can’t do it, what do you think will happen to our relationship? It will be over. Either you will think that I don’t care and that will hurt you, or you will think that I’m avoiding you and that will cause you hurt, either way the relationship will suffer.

 

Pretending hurts not only those around you, but you also. It’s hard to overcome the stigma of being a liar, some people may forgive you, but they may never trust you again. That was a valuable lesson to me that I learned from my childhood and my marriage.

 

We have played the lying game for so long that we really believe that God is blind. Don’t be deceived we are the ones whose sight is diminished. Whatever the reason is that you are not being authentically you, it’s in the private time when you should be allowing God to get to the bottom of it. Don’t pretend anymore, you can’t run from you. I realize that most of the time we when we are lying about who we are, what we have and what we can do is because; we’re looking for approval from the world. Guess what? You don’t need the world’s approval; "they have no heaven or hell to put you in." Being man pleasers is the biggest trick of the enemy. If he can get us to believe that we answer to each other then he can have us jumping through hoops trying to gain the respect of man. Contrary to the lie, the truth is that we answer to God and it is His approval that we need.

 

As I’ve begun to mature spiritually, I have noticed that when I please God most of the people around me benefit from it. Not everyone does, because not everyone can. Not everyone appreciates or is blessed by my obedience to God. I really cannot explain why, but for those who God have placed in my life, they are the ones who benefit and so do I. Personally my experiences with God and man have been more meaningful and prosperous, because I have made the shift from fake to authentic. By living in the truth whether in private or public you will be able to be used by God and your greatest joys will come out of being authentic. 

 

So be authentic in your being; don’t attempt to represent yourself one way on the outside when you know you are another way on the inside. That will cause confusion because it is formed from a lie. Your outer being should be a reflection of your inner man. You must be genuine in your character because love is drawn to itself through two avenues: those having the love of God or those needing the love of God. You want to be in a position to be a blessing in either. If you need help making the shift, let God do the work in you first, so you will be able to live a lifestyle that is holy, righteous, and authentic. Then instead of being thought of as a liar you will represent good character and be a useful, suitable mate. Remember; it is by the authentic you that people are blessed the most because they experience God’s best in you.